Can’t come solo, even though I can with my husband...

I’m confused, ladies. Before my now-husband and I became intimate, I assumed I would never be able to orgasm. I could not reach orgasm on my own, whether I touched myself, used a toy, humped a pillow, watched porn, etc.... Nothing worked for me. We’re married now and have intimate time regularly. I orgasm nearly every time, often more than once, when my hubby pleasures me. But when I touch (etc) myself, it feels good for a moment and then seems to go almost numb. Doesn’t matter what I try after a few minutes, it does nothing for me.

It’s not for a lack of trying. I’m working on sexual confidence and have multiple toys. Penetration doesn’t do it for me and is painful, so rabbit vibes etc. are no good. The oral stim toys don’t work for me either. Maaaaybe got close-ish once just holding a vibe between my legs. Touching myself does nothing. Humping is difficult. So... anything I could try? Any toys I haven’t thought of yet? I’m the spouse with a higher libido (hubby has possible chronic fatigue syndrome and sometimes just doesn’t have energy no matter how much he wants to do things) and so I would love to be able to come solo on occasion.

Help!!!