I’m starting to resent him, which I know is ridiculous. But I’m in way over my head right now because I have 2 four year olds and a 6 month old. My 6 month old is high needs and having some health issues so that in itself is a lot. She doesn’t sleep either, no naps and wakes 4+ times per night. My 4 year olds are 4...which in my opinion is the toughest age yet. And there 2 of them. And on top of that I work from home part time. So I’m losing my mind. And my husband finds the time to work out every morning and then stays in the office til 7 every night. Some nights he gets home at 9 or later. He does help out but I still feel frustrated because he really could work from home 100% of the time if he chose to, but he chooses to spend so much time in the office. And he gets to work out/shower/shave every day and legit thinks it’s his right as a human to do so. Then what does that make me if I haven’t been able to shower in a week? Forget working out, truly don’t have time for that.

I’ve been having heart palpations, I’ve been crying every day, and I feel like I’m gonna throw up, and I’m so stressed all the time that even after I get the kids to sleep at night, my heart is still pounding no matter what I do to try to calm down because I’m on edge about everything. And I’m anticipating my 6 month old waking up at any given time.

Update: I talked to him again and told him about my heart palpating and not being able to relax and he was like “I didn’t realize it was that bad.” So he let me sleep in this AM and then I walked into the kitchen and he goes, “do you think we could have some fun tonight?” ...............for some reason sex is not on my mind at all right now dude. He’s like “I have biological needs!” I’m like uhhhhhhh lol go jack off then because I have needs also like being able to get away from the kids long enough to pull up my hair when it falls out of my messy ass bun. (My 6 month old needs me to hold her all day and as soon as I put her down she screams. This is the one with some health issues right now). And he’s like “Jared asked me to hang out and grab breakfast this AM but I said I can’t because I have too much going on.” As if I should be like “thank you aooooooo much.” But really I’m thinking “it would be absolutely insane if you entertained the thought of going out to breakfast with a friend right now, so thanks for saying no I guess? Is he bringing it up to see if I’d actually be ok with it? Because he always talks about how hard it is on him that he can’t socialize as much as he’d like to. Wtf