Looking for some advice on how you deal with a high conflict bio mom as a full time step mom? My husband has primary custody of SD. She has lived with him full time her whole life(8 years) and with me for the past 5 years.

BM lives a few hours away, and spends 4 nights per month with SD. She’s so toxic, it’s unbearable.

SD cries to me almost daily asking why mommy doesn’t ever show up for any of her school events since KG, she’s in 3rd grade now, despite us telling BM months in advance and reminding her weekly. She always comes up with some excuse not to show up for her child. Most recently, DH asked BM if she could help SD study a little over the weekend, because she’s struggling in school and has a big test coming up. We printed up two worksheets with a handful of problems. Would have taken maybe 15 minutes out of her day. When we picked up SD and asked BM how she did on the worksheets DH was greeted with a nice “Fuck you bro. Sorry I’m not perfect like you want me to be. We got busy. I’m a good fucking mom, and you’re treating me like a piece of shit.”

It’s seriously the most aggravating thing trying to parent with someone that can’t have a calm, adult conversation, or even care about their own child’s education.

Ten more years of this, and SD and I are going to be getting a nice BOGO deal on a shrink. 🙄