I'm horrible.

For 4 years I haven't felt wanted sexually by my husband. I've tried different things to have sex with him and nothing works. I love him so much but all I want is to be touched like he use to touch me. He hasn't fingered me or given me oral in YEARS. He knows oral is my favorite thing and he won't do it. He won't even take non sexual showers with me. Their is no spark anymore and I so badly need and want it.

I've been so sick and tired of this so after bringing it up nicely a few times over the last couple years I started getting mad at him.. I don't know what is wrong with me. I get so mad if we don't have sex a certain amount of times and we end up getting in a big fight. I just want to feel wanted again.

Sometimes I want to play hard to get and not have sex with him (when he finally gets in the mood) to maybe make him want me more but I know if I don't have sex I'll end up being upset because I really want to have sex with him and I know it will be a while before he tries again.

I hate that I get so mad at him but it's almost like I can't help it. I told him tonight I didn't want to be touched by him again and not to hug/kiss me anymore because I'm sick of only being here for his convenience when he finally needs to get off. I told him that's probably why he leaves an hour early for work so he can be with someone else and that's why he doesn't touch me anymore..

I'm a horrible wife and he should find someone else who will make him happy.