On December 29, 2019 I left work (I work nights so it was around 7am) and went to this guys apartment and I had been seeing this guy for about 4 months more like a fwb when I got there his friend was there too I had just came to hook up with him then his friend walks in while we start getting into it and I was like okay I’ve never been in a threesome before so it was my first time for that and I went along with it. We all were doing our part then it was his friends turn to go inside me and at first it was fine then it started to hurt and I told him and he just kept doing the same thing and I told him to stop and then he forced my head down and kept going for what felt like 30 mins I couldn’t move and I just kept crying my fwb was just watching him jerking off the friend finally stopped and I just lay there not able to move I felt so useless then I got dress and left I deleted my fwb on everything except insta and he messaged me saying how sorry he was his friend did that and the he had taken a sex pill before he came in the room. As soon as I left the apartment I went to a gas station and I couldn’t stop crying. I was suicidal after that later on I have realized my behavior has changed my sister that I went to after it happened I told her everything my eyes were so swollen from crying and then weeks later we get into and argument and she started to talk about me behind my back I literally heard her say “she sleeps around to much and I disgusted to have her around my kid maybe if she wouldn’t of opened her legs she wouldn’t of gotten raped she got herself into that mess.” I was devastated I trusted her with everything. I’m emotionally numb and I don’t have the same tingly feeling anymore when I have sex I wish it wouldn’t of happened to me I’m very depressed and I’m just very tired. I want to be happy again.