Why do I have to do all the work in my friendships?

I am a bit of an introvert so I'm on the quiet side sometimes, I'm the listener, the care giver. The person you call when you need a favor or an event planned. My relationships with my friends are very important to me. I don't have a lot of friends but the ones I do have mean the world to me.

But I always have to do the work. I always text first, I always ask to hang out. I started hosting a brunch monthly at my house to make my friends come to me 😅 and that was fun while it lasted. But people kept canceling the morning of, or just not responding to my messages. I've had some friends grow apart and move away. My friend circle is dwindling fast.

I'm always trying to plan things to do to bring people together ...

Im in a local houseplant group with a bunch of other people who love houseplants and ive tried to organize 2 meet ups in hopes I can make some plant friends.... The first one, two people came who were already friends so I sat in on their conversation basically. I love being a third wheel. The second time, no one rsvped and I got a lot of anxiety that I'd show up and no one would be there... So I canceled it since no one expressed any interest.

With this new isolation, I'm seeing everyone on Instagram and Facebook and all their great friendships everyone else has. People are leaving little gifts for each other, video calling, and just generally trying to have fun and be there for each other.

I've been reaching out.... I've been posting... I've been offering to play app games like trivia crack, I've even offered to send mail. And no one is interested. No one interacts with me or my posts, no one is texting me wanting to talk...

But I'm not reaching out 100% to try and help people. I'm reaching out because I'm feeling lonely, isolated, not needed. Writing a letter to someone who wants one, helps ME. having someone express one iota of interest in how I'm doing would be helpful to ME.

I'm 28 years old. I don't know how to meet new friends at this point. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and why no one needs me. I feel like everyone I know already has their little tribe, they wouldn't miss me if I wasn't around. and I have some acquaintances but I'm like the middle schooler following some seniors around because I think they're cool... I never feel like I'm on the same level as anyone anymore.

I know I'm not expecting a lot from my friends, and I know I have a lot to offer and I'm a great friend when given the chance.... but I'm not getting anything back from most of my friendships right now. They want to complain and not change anything they're complaining about, or they have kids and only want to hang out with other people who also have kids...

My heart is just really tired and really heavy from trying so hard and putting my all into trying to reach out for people. I don't feel important or valued to anyone...

I don't know what to do