Im not the same anymore...

A year ago i was dating an abusive guy. He hit and pushed me around. Always yelled at me and threatened me. I FINALLY left him, for someone much much better. He was so sweet and nice. Humble and caring. Happy and laid back. My absolute soul mate. I love him to the fullest extent. Im young, 17, but i know this IS love. Ive fallen in love 3 times but have dated many times. My boyfriend (recently 18) has changed. He stopped loving me and caring me. Stopped choosing me over his abusive family, (which he agree's is abusive) and just something shifted. He started talking to a girl when we broke up once but cut her the second we decided to be together again. But ever since that break up its been different. No he's not cheating, but he may be not interested anymore. He always gets mad at me and blames everything on me. He's even hit me but i hit back. He gets mad and says horrible things to me, and we have talked and talk and talked about how he cant disrespect me and belittle me just because he is mad. He says he's only reacting to what i do but I literally do nothing?? I'll say "you doing this makes me feel like that because __" and he will go off saying that im lying and putting words in his mouth that all he ever does is try. Ive even talked to him about what he can do to show me and make me feel like he does, that he's acting on HIS love language and not mine. My love language is quality time and words of endearment. His is acts of love and words of affirmation. I try for his love language and every time we have a falling out (argument) its always my fault. He feels i dont listen and do what his "rules" are. He gets mad when i say im not following rules. He wants to break up but i love him. Advice? Help? Tips? Experience?

i can add photo's of texts of how he treats me when he's angry (which is 24/7 almost) and the rules he has for me.

Also if i should leave him, how should i do it? How should i address the situation? How can i have an easier break up? How can i deal with the pain a little better?