Still doesn’t feel real

This is my 3rd baby but for some reason it still doesn’t feel real. I thought it’d feel real once I had my first ultrasound and saw baby had a heartbeat, then I said it would after we heard the heartbeat, then after the first trimester is over, and now I find myself thinking after the anatomy scan or when baby’s kicks can be felt on the outside. I still haven’t even bought maternity clothes let alone any baby stuff and I’m 15 weeks. I want to but I keep catching myself thinking “what if something happens then you just have a pile of useless expensive stuff” this baby was 100% planned and I’m so excited to be having it but I just don’t know what to do to make it feel like it’s really gonna happen. I’ve had like 5 ultrasounds and not even that is doing the trick. Anyone else feeling this way or felt like this in the past? What made it real for you guys?