How to deal with grandma?

Question

My husband’s mother calls and texts the both of us every single day for photos and videos. Before this virus we had seen her every weekend when we had time to because she would always get mad if we didn’t. And mind you, a weekend wasn’t even enough for her either. If I send her some photos or a video she would comment back “send more” early this morning as my husbands working and he works constructions I he can’t be on the phone so much or at all. He has to hear her argue about not getting any videos last night. And because of this virus we cannot go see her because it’s too dangerous my son is 7 months old and she works driving certain things for the different hospitals in our city so she’s in and out and not being as careful as she should be like no mask and gloves. He told her that not even my family bugs us to see him. She sees him more than ANYONE! My family on my mom and dads side have not even seen him once yet and they don’t bug me. His family on both mom and dad side don’t bug him and last we’ve seen them was Christmas. She said it doesn’t matter because she’s grandma and has a right. Does she have a right to see my son whenever she feels?
(We don’t even let her watch him anymore because we’ve caught her drinking while watching him.)

Answer

No she is not entitled to any of those things. I worry this is how my mother is going to be after the baby comes. Boundaries are important to maintaining healthy relationships, she needs to understand that she cannot live vicariously through the two of you.

Answer

I would just tell her, you’ll get videos/photos when I get around to it. Might be every other day, might be a few times a week. Say you’ll do your best but you’d like her to stop bothering you constantly. Remind her that no one else is getting daily photos and videos. I would be very annoyed in your situation. You’ve got to speak up and draw the line somewhere or she’s going to keep pestering you. 
I only send videos/photos when I feel like it. I’m not going out of my way for anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Ew. No, she doesn’t have a right. I would block her so I didn’t have to deal with her, unblock super quick to send a photo when it was convenient for me, and block again super fast to avoid having to deal with her 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

She does not have the right to see him whenever she wants. What she is probably referring to is grandparent rights. Most states have them and it just says that she is entitled to some sort of visitation, but it’s pretty limited. Sounds like you need to try to set some boundaries with her. Tell her you will send a photo or video every other day, and then make a plan once this virus is over, or whatever sounds reasonable to you.

Answer

"He's getting bigger, I cant be glued to my phone 24/7 so I'll send pics when I can . Then let her have her temper tantrum to whomever she wants and ignore it.

Answer

No she does not have that right. My mom feels entitled like that. I groomed her for years before having my own that I wouldn’t put up with it. She still does little things that I hate but not as often as she thinks she can. She knows I’ll tell her to stay away if she doesn’t do what I want so she’s careful. She also lets me know how hard she’s trying which is annoying. 
I would just tell her that she’ll get pics and videos when you send them and she’ll see your child when you want her to. Tell her she isn’t entitled to whatever she wants just because she’s grandma.

Answer

I feel for you... my dad is the absolute same way. But he sees my boys 2-3 times a week and then gets my oldest to spend the night every other weekend. He feels entitled to my oldest especially because we lived with him from birth to 1 yr and then 2-3yr. He has made himself believe he’s a father figure and it drives me insane to no end. 
I have sat down with him multiple times to set things straight but it never sticks because he has no respect for us or our boundaries. He undermines my husband and I while we’re disciplining. And bullies my husband making him feel lesser than because he’s my sons step father. 
It’s ridiculous.

Answer

She had no rights. She’s a grandma. Not a parent. You need to set some boundaries for her. Who cares if she throws a fit, this is your life and baby and you’ve got to do what you feel comfortable with! 
My mil used to FaceTime our daughter every single day. And since my husband works long shifts, she would usually contact me to see my daughter which was annoying because I don’t wanna stop my day to have to talk on the phone. I talked to my husband and we decided to only answer her FaceTimes twice a week.

Answer

Just ignore her . 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

OMG she sounds like my MIL.
Up my kids ass constantly, and All dramatic when she can’t see them

How to deal with grandma?

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