Is this the wrong way to go?

So a couple years ago I started a quest to find my birth father. All I had was a first and last name and a picture. It didn't take me long to find him. I found a old Facebook profile and messaged a bunch of random friends and one happened to be his mother. She gave him my number and he contacted me. He told me the reasons he left and that he doesn't even think I'm his. I asked to get a DNA test he said no because his wife will find out about me. I looked at his old Facebook profile it says he was married the year I was born. He was with my mom up until I was 3. If the year is correct he cheated on his wife while in the military with my mom who was also in the military during deployment. So I been debating this for a while I want his wife to know my existence so he doesn't have any excuses to not get a DNA test. I do not know the wife's name but I have 2 younger siblings and know their names. I also know what city they live in. I really want to make a bunch of social media post until his wife sees it. The thing is I don't know if that's the right route to go because it might humiliate her and that's something I don't want I have nothing against her I just want to know who my dad is😔

Edit** for the people saying just to let it go I do not want to. It's not Because I think I'll have a relationship with him. He already ruined that. But he thinks I'm not his kid. If that's true then there is a bio dad out there that don't know about me that might want a relationship with me that I can try to find. I don't have a family besides my kid... Also for the ones saying I'm attached yes I am. He created a bond with me as a child then vanished. I thought he was dead... Also I'm not trying to make a post humiliating his wife or anything That's why I didn't want to make a post cuz I didn't want it to be humiliating but I want her to know because even if he's not my dad he did cheat on her. Also If he is my dad I want to know my siblings. He ruined his life by cheating on his wife with my mom which is also illegal because he was in the military and married. He also engaged to my mom while in the military and married. I shouldn't have to go without knowing where I came from and who my family is because he wanted to cheat on his wife.