I don’t usually like outing my problems for the world to see but I could really use some positivity, support, and advice. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year, he is my first love and my first everything, I care about him deeply and love him so much. We always work out our problems together, but, since two weeks ago things started to change. Now, he is into making music and label/record companies are beginning to notice him, which is great! I’m happy for him! But we had an argument. They wanted him to go to Atlanta over the weekend, obviously with the virus going around I was 100% against it.... but he went anyways and it just left me feeling kind of mad? Well fast forward to yesterday and today. He’s changed so much within these weeks. He doesn’t show me any love, he gives me the cold shoulder, he just.. I get that he’s focused on his music, that’s fine. But I feel like he’s leaving me behind. We’ve been through so much, I’ve paid for countless things for him like gas, rent, food, I convinced my dad to let him stay at our home when he was homeless (that’s a long story), my dad paid for his rent, he’s made my confidence go up, etc and... i think he’s going back to his old ways. He grew up in a bad neighborhood and last night, he posted himself in someone’s car drinking alcohol with a gun in his old neighborhood. That scared me, I asked him to be safe but he left me on read and he even took down all our posts of us Instagram (but has the audacity to leave up my drawing for him?). I saw on Twitter he began following a bunch of girls and liking their posts and while it usually doesn’t bother me i cant help but feel so insecure and heartbroken ? Not just for the tweets, but for everything. I asked him if he would ever cheat on me. He said no, he has other things to focus on. I asked him if he still loves me, He said he does. But I was so upset I made the mistake of saying “then can you stop liking pictures of girls with their asses and boobs out?” I know that was bad on my part but my mind has been everywhere. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I’m starting to hyperventilate just thinking about it . I feel so empty right now. There’s so much to the story but I feel like if I type anymore I would cry. He’s never been this way before, he’s never done any of this before. It’s like he’s a total different person. I’m sorry this is so long but i needed to get this off my chest. I don’t want to break up with him, of course. I just wish he didn’t change so much within so little time. Any advice or positivity would be appreciated.

EDIT: I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented. You all really made me feel better, and after talking to two friends they also agreed I deserve way better. I finally gathered the courage to call him instead of trying to express myself through text as I had been, and i started breaking down again. At first he barely said anything but I told him that I won’t be with him if he continues to treat me this way (like shit haha. I won’t go into detail with that though). I asked him about the girls on Twitter and he said he didn’t know why he did that, which I called bullshit but i understand that he likes what he likes... he did take down their posts from his account but he still follows them for ‘marketing and gaining followers’. i also asked him why he took down our posts and we started arguing, he said he doesn’t think it’s important and that he just wants to promote his music on there instead. It made me sad but taking what some of you said into consideration I guess I’ll have to learn to accept that, which will take time but I’ll try my best. He apologized to me and said he realizes what he’s been doing and how much he’s been hurting me and that he’s going to fix himself and us, but only time will tell with that. One or two people on here were mentioning that this is apart of the music industry, I get that. I guess I just wasn’t ready for him to take off and I don’t think I’m ready for that change yet, I understand his career comes first and that many things might change from here, and I respect that fully. I admit that I’m very insecure when it comes to myself, I’m not too mentally strong but with the quarantine going on, I think I’ll try to focus on myself and put myself first for once, as a few of you have suggested. In two weeks he has to go back to Atlanta again because another label company wants to meet him and give him a photo shoot, etc. if that goes well maybe I’ll give you guys his rapper name or something haha. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be traveling right now but I can’t force him to listen to me. Anyways, thank you all again. The insight was so much needed and reading your positive words or helpful feedback really helped me get a grip on what I need to do! I hope everyone is doing good and staying safe during these times. 💛