Venting

Struggling with ppd, got into it with husband this morning. I always feel like he is putting everything ahead of taking care of our son and helping me. My baby son hadn’t eaten since midnight and it was now just before 6am, we got up he plopped son on play mat and said he’s going for a run. This happens every morning, I have to rush to make sure my son has clean bottles, I exclusively pump due to latching issues so by the time we get up for the day there’s already 3+ dr brown bottles I have to wash plus pumping items, then I have to pump, get my son a bottle, wash the other pumping stuff I just used etc etc. This morning my son didn’t have a clean bottle ready when we got up, I asked my husband to clean him a bottle before he goes for a run and he freaks out on me telling me I’m not “supportive” of him! Excuse me! Our son hadn’t eaten in over 6 hrs when he normally eats every 3-4 hrs, I asked him to clean ONE bottle so that I could put the milk I pumped a couple hours prior into it and feed my son. He gets pissy half ass cleans a couple of bottles plus half of the pumping stuff that I didn’t ask him to, then disappears to his office for a while. I fed our son half of his bottle he didn’t want it all right away and I started pumping. He comes down lays on the play mat next to my very fussy son who has now started to cry and he’s over there just saying “why are you crying?” ...I told him a million times if our of nowhere he starts to cry he either has a dirty diaper or wants milk. I finished pumping, hurried to my son and fed him the rest of his bottle, checked to make sure he didn’t have a dirty diaper, played with him. My husband got up and went for a smoke and then back to his office almost an hour before work starts. He barely spends time with our son, he’ll just put him in his walker or play mat and ignore him. Oh but if someone is around or if he sees neighbors outside he’ll quickly pick our son up and rush out the door with him