To start this off I’ll explain how March went for me

So.... March 6th.. My mother had a massive heart attack.. she had died twice.. yes 2 times she coded. She recovered which was a miracle because the doctors were surprised. Most people don’t come back from that.. when this happened I was roughly 9 weeks.. pregnant at the time...

2 weeks later...

I was at having a little cramping and I had like 2 clots.... the cramping was not horrible though. Well.. I went to the doctors and I was supposed to be 11 weeks. Well here to come my baby had stopped growing around 9 weeks.. the doctors said about getting a D&C done so it wouldn’t be as painful at home. They explain why it might have happened & I got that done but I was COMPLETELY ALONE the entire time because the hospital wouldn’t let anyone in with me..(understand that)

This coronavirus crap going around and being locked in my house for the last 2 months... since it’s so sad and crappy out because it hasn’t been warm& I don’t want my kids being getting sick..

Then we had some crappy weather here in pa where I live last week & a tree JUST missed falling on our apartment..

I am trying to keep a positive attitude with everything that’s happened but it’s getting very hard for me.. everyone around me is getting pregnant and just losing mine is killing me.. I know there is a reason for everything but it’s REALLY REALLY getting to me mentally & idk what to do.. I talk to people about it but it’s not seeming to help..

Plus my birthday is tomorrow and I can’t even spend it with my family which is depressing and I just feel alone. I feel empty & sad & I never miscarried before this is my first angel baby and idk am I supposed to feel like this? I just feel like gods pissed at me for something because I’ve never had such bad luck like this..