I just started spotting a day or two before I was supposed to start AF. I have stopped tracking everything. I’m less stressed this month than normally because of being home from work which is my main cause of stress and a poor sleep schedule.

We were so sure this would be our month. So freaking sure. This was our last month to have a 2020 baby. Our miscarriage in June last year was supposed to be a Jan 2020 baby. May will be a year since we found out we were pregnant that time after 3.5 years of trying.

I know there’s still the tiniest bit of a chance but I can’t even hold onto that. I’m so sure it’s another failed month. Another month of my body failing me.

I know that’s a bad mindset, but it’s where I’m at right now. Everything reverts back to my miscarriage. January I was due, May will be a year since finding out. June will be a year since we lost it. July will be a year since it left me. I just want to give my baby boy a sibling. I want my family to grow.