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Nah. If you know you know.
Feeling pressured to date
So ladies I have to know if I'm being wrong/stubborn.
So I have a male friend let's call him John. So John is a friend I've had for close to 15 years now. We went to highschool together. Due to that we have alot of mutual friends. John has expressed to other friends how much he likes me and wants to ask me out and has hinted at this to me kinda jokingly but never outright asked me out or said he liked me seriously to my face. Now I am NOT attracted to John one bit, I think he is great but I don't see him that way. My girlfriends (who are also friends with him) think I should at give him at least one date because maybe I'll see or feel something for him that I wasn't aware of. In their eyes what could one date hurt. I feel why should I even entertain a date and get his hopes up when I know I'm not interested. I've known him so long and after his subtle hints I feel like if I wanted him I would have made it known.
Am I wrong for not wanting to give this date a chance. It makes me feel bad because he is my friend, but I feel nothing romantic for him at all!
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You are not in the wrong! I agree with you! If there were any kind of feelings there on your end, you would have acted on it by now. Going out with him would lead him on and most likely make things that much more uncomfortable afterward. If he ever tries to get out of the friend zone with you, just be honest! You’ll be doing yourself and your friend a favor. Good luck!!
El
Thank you! This is exactly how I feel, like why waste anyone's time!
You're completely right. A waste of everyone's time if you know you're not interested, and tbh I hate the idea of "if a guy is nice enough, he deserves a chance." It gives me the impression that it doesn't matter what the woman wants, she's just a prize for the guy if he acts like a decent human being. I'm nice, and I don't expect to be able to go on dates with whoever the fuck I want, even if they don't want to, just so I can try to convince them I'm fuckable.
Ve
His feelings are his responsibility. If you're not being cruel or unkind, you're fine. And simply not being interested is not being unkind
El
That's exactly how I feel!!! It's almost like if he wears me down enough I'll just give in!!! It's annoying! But thank you, the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings and I think giving his false hope only to let him down later is kinda cruel
Nope not all. Same thing happened with me and my best friend. But he would actually ask me out persistently and want me to make him my bf and I would shut it down every time. Our friendship was kinda messed up from that and now we don’t talk. Point is, do what you have to do for yourself, and you’re sparing his feelings by not getting his hopes up. If he wants to keep trying that’s on him but he should know how u feel
El
Thank you! It's gone kinda from a "haha" thing to something I'm feeling pressured into. If he legitimately asks me out though I plan on turning him down. I feel no pull to him in that way and it's not fair to pretend otherwise
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