i’m gonna start of by saying 1. there’s a lot of information here and 2. i’m really bad at telling stories.

i’ve seriously considered the possibility that i’m a sociopath or something because i don’t feel the emotional connection to things that most people do.

i’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost two years and he’s super romantic. he buys me things all the time and he takes me on romantic dates, watching the sunset, picnics, all that. but for some reason i just don’t melt in the way that other women do over that stuff. i appreciate it so much more than i can explain, and it makes me happy but i just feel like i’m missing out on the romantic part.

it also happens with my friends. we take a bunch of spontaneous trips to the beach and amusement parks, we drive around with the windows down singing old songs. i feel like i’m living the dream but at the same time i feel like i’m missing out. like i’m aware that i’m making memories but i just can’t appreciate it in the moment.

i’m pretty sure i’m just horribly depressed and am uncapable of being happy but is there anything more to it??