What should I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been with each other almost a year. We are long distance (same state) and  both 23. We got into a little argument and he said that I am sneaky. And then I asked him how and he couldn’t answer the question. I asked him repeatedly if he trust me and he said he don’t trust no one. I told him I can’t be with him, if he don’t trust me. He then said yes he do trust me, it’s just him not me. Btw I have never done him wrong or cheated on him. 
His last girlfriend really made him lose his trust. She cheated on him and had a baby with someone else. I think he brings that hurt into this relationship. 
He keeps saying he trust me, but now I feel some type of way. I’ve always said that I can’t be with no one who doesn’t trust me, because trust is the foundation to any relationship. He’s my first everything, and it’s hard to let him go. Like he has a good heart and I don’t want to change him, but just help him to be a better person. I’m stuck in a hard place. What should I do. Stay or leave.

Answer

I think his distrust is not your problem if you didn’t cause it. I think far too often people bring their baggage from old relationships into their new ones without resolving it and then it somehow becomes your problem to fix (which you won’t be able to because the problem is him not you). If he can’t get over his trust issues on his own then you shouldn’t stay with him. My ex acted like he didn’t trust women because of his ex. We were together for four years and somehow nothing I did or didn’t do was never good enough to make him trust me. I just think that if you’ve been together this long and he’s still carrying around this baggage then he needs to do something about it.

Answer

You shouldn't change him or try to fix something you didn't cause. He needs to work on his trust issues, and that take time, maybe don't take it so personally because it's not related to you but his previous experiences. I have trust issues, I built up in all my life and it's hard to work on these problems, I have a therapist and we are working together to help me be more confident. But it's something that I chose and it's still very hard. I don't think you can do anything at all for him but accept that he has issues.

What should I do?

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