So hi there whoever sees this,

As far as I'm aware I do not suffer from any mental illness but this was the group closest to what I am feeling right now. Recently I've been feeling super down and just not happy probably due to quarentine. I've just revisited my memories from ages ago that caused some traumatic esq experiences, god knows why my brain decides to think about these things at 2am. The 2 main memories are of me in a hospital and getting stressed over the fact I might have needed surgery, shots etc etc. And then a thought occurred to me "if I never existed/was a stupid dumb cow this wouldn't have happened." This just kinda stuck to me but I'm sure I'll be over it in the morning. But right now I feel like a total piece of shit. I feel like I should give up all my hobbies and just do nothing for the rest of my life. I don't want to be stressed. I don't feel like being an adult in my future years (13 rn.). I feel so cooped up in this house. I want to go out, I want to see the horses, and I want to forget anything. I'm also gonna say that my phone is ruining my life, there's nothing for me to do in my mind so all I do is stare at it and I feel I'm just deteriorating from life because of it. Insta dms don't help either considering some of my "friends" are petty bitches who just want others to receive karma. Sorry if none of this makes sense, I'm writing this on a whim and I'm just writing what comes out of my mind.

Just want to say a quick fuck you, coronavirus ✌✌