A letter to my period

Dear Aunt Flo,

My bbt took a dive and I knew you were due. You said you'd be here Sunday, but it was Saturday when you pretended to arrive. Turns out you sent some bright spotting baggage ahead of your actual arrival, and thank you for the "please kill me now" cramps like I've never experienced.

Sunday comes around and I tell hubby you're here as I wake up to more red baggage... But you do not follow.

In order to promote your inevitable arrival I had the hottest bath known to man Sunday evening and was treated to an hour long delivery of yet more...baggage...

It is now Monday evening. Where. Are. You?

If you cannot arrive complete and on time, please have the decency to call or don't send your baggage ahead of you to confuse me. I will not waste a pregnancy test because you're taking the piss.

Have you taken Social Distancing too far, sending my period in little pieces at a time? It's not on.

Sincerely,

Wtf is going on?