His Wife Doesn't Want Him To Bond W/ My Daughter.

Alright y'all.

I've posted on this issue so many times about my youngest child's father being absent.

Not going over that story again and if you haven't read my posts about it in the past here's a quick back story. I have 2 children ages 3 & 5. My 6 year old's father has never seen her. Doesn't want to and jumped on me while pregnant so he can't. I met my youngest child's father a few years later. He was coming around enough that my daughter remembers who he is. While pregnant he said he wanted to step up and be in her life full-time and at some point adopt her. We talked about being together and in the midst of figuring it out, i was offered a job out of town and moved. Well little did I know he had gotten back with an ex (who at the time lived out of state) and proposed to her. He didn't tell me until December 2016 (I was due March 2017). Pregnant July 2016 and moved September 2016. We stopped talking. She didn't know about me and vice versa until he told me. Well, he chose to not attend the birth and hasn't seen his child DESPITE my many attempts to call or even ask his parents to do it. His wife learned of my daughter when I filed for child support in October 2017. (They married 2 days before I gave birth that March) because he'd promise to send money to help with daycare and never did. That's all I tried asking him to help with. I apologized to his wife last year when I called her (I thought doing so would help him see I just care about my kids having him in their lives). He refers to my oldest as his so I'll just say our girls. The call wasn't random, I actually sent her a text and instead of texting back she called. That call did not go as smoothly as I thought it would. Not sure what I was thinking but I can say I had the best intentions when reaching out to her.

NOW,

I personally haven't spoken to him in a couple of years but I will randomly video call him to see if he'll answer and hand my phone to the girls. I don't ever join their calls. That's for them. Not me and this has only been successful maybe 3 times. Anyway, we had a 2 hour conversation mainly about visitation and he mentioned to me that his wife feels like he doesn't need to include my other daughter. She feels like this will interfere with his bond with HIS child and he said he understands where she is coming from but that he has already built some form of a bond with my daughter and doesn't plan to stop. He feels it isn't right. He then says to me that he feels like his wife shouldn't be around when he has them. That concerns me for no other reason than, why is it a problem? What's going to happen if he starts weekends and summer visits which include overnights in their home?

Lastly, she wants him to find another means to communicate with me (through his family or mine) because she doesn't want me around nor my daughter. He claims he said no. I just want my kids to have their father. I'm not looking for drama or to argue. I want the best for my kids.

Don't be too harsh on me please. Is there something I'm missing? What am I not seeing? It's been 3 years and he hasn't seen them in person. Which is sad for my youngest and he has every excuse not to and I think he feels it'll upset his wife. Is there anything more that I can do to make this easier for my children but also for them?

Thanks ladies