Traumatic Birth

Anyone else struggling with their birth experience? This is my third baby, but we had a severe prolapsed umbilical cord. He almost died, and it ended with an emergency c-section. They had to artificially dilate me and had to hold his head back by the nurse having her arm inside me. It was so painful and awful. I’m okay most of the time, but I have nightmares about him dying. And with covid19 I haven’t been able to see my therapist. Just having a hard time 😞