I feel stupid for even complaining during a pandemic but I need to get something off my chest that has been bothering me. For starters, I don’t know what to do about my relationship. We haven’t had sex in almost four months, and prior to that, we had gone more months without sex. We’ve been on and off for about five years now and sex hasn’t been an issue until about the last year and a half. We’re both in our 20s. I hate to say it, but I was having more sex when we were broken up than I am now. And I’m not upset because I’m some horny monster (even though I am lol), there’s just more to it than that. Sex never used to be a problem in our relationship. We used to be very sexually compatible and have sex every other day, so I’m not sure what’s happened.

I’ve tried to seduce him, and every time I get shot done. On Halloween, I dressed up as a playboy bunny for him and he told me to put some clothes on and was confused as to why I even did that in the first place. Ever since that incident, I stopped trying to seduce him and started to wait for him to initiate. Mind you, this wasn’t the first time something like that has happened.

I’ve asked him why we don’t have sex and his response keeps changing. The first time I asked, he told me it was because he already knows what it’s like to have sex with me. Then it turned into “I’m tired” and “I’m too depressed”. Then it turned into him saying that he isn’t sexually attracted to me anymore because of how much we argue. Then it turned into him not wanting to have sex because we’re not planning on having kids and he doesn’t see the point.

What bothers me about this is that I know he jerks off A LOT because he’s told me. Then he tells me last night he wants to get checked for aids because he stepped on a needle in the city (he was wearing shoes). Effectively, this has made me lose all attraction to him. Not only that, but my self esteem has gone down by a lot. Am I not attractive enough? I just don’t get why you would choose to jerk off over the real thing. Sex is more than just sex.. it’s a way for couples to show love and intimacy. I know he loves me but this has just made me feel absolutely horrible about myself. It seems like he never compliments me anymore and only criticizes me.

I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for by posting this, but here it is.