I'm nineteen years old and in college, home now because of quarantine. I've been doing research and reading books and...I'm being gaslighted by my mother, everything lines up, how I feel and how she acts. And I feel like I have no one, my boyfriend treats me very good but I constantly feel like a bother, same with when I talk to my family. I don't know what to do, I don't have a job right now and I'm in school, my brother has told me if I ever need to I could move in with him but I don't know if that's being to extreme. I don't feel welcome in my own home and when I try to open up to my mother about how I feel or set up boundaries she yells at me and discredits me, I don't know what to do anymore and I just feel like a shell of a human being. I've been having more panic attacks recently and the other night I actually thought about hurting myself...and that's terrifying to me. When my mother comes in on one of my panic attacks I get yelled at and she says "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong" I feel like I can't talk to her. And my step dad just stays out of the situation, he sees what's happening but does nothing. I don't know what to do...any advice?