I feel very alone...

Deni • Mommy to my baby girl Nannalie 💕 5years strong with my handsome man & loading baby #2 😍

So I am warning ⚠️ that there is a #Triggerwarning. This is a rant & a plea for help..

I would understand if my post gets reported or taken down. So thank you for reading this while it’s up.

So in March, I was forced to take my leave extremely early — I was only going on 3 months at the time. My company wouldn’t comply or accommodate me with my restrictions. So I was forced out of work. I had just enough to pay my April & May portion of rent & utilities along with stuff needed like hygiene items.. food.. etc...

Now I am completely broke — my boyfriend is working his ass off with two jobs & still barely making enough to keep up with bills & things needed for us & the house. I have reached out for help from EDD, filing for disability because I AM NOT UNEMPLOYED. & I have yet to receive anything from them. My family doesn’t seem to have a care in the world for my wellbeing or needs. I have yet to hear from anyone asking if I need something or a simple “am I okay?”

I set up registries & have legit publicly announced on my social media that I have them open to everyone. Yet no one has even asked for them or even had the interest in asking. I cannot ask my parents for much because my parents are homeless due to high living costs in California & my mom being forced to step down from her state job for a reason that was out of her control. I cannot expect for them to help & I don’t. I actually help them when I can. My boyfriends family doesn’t talk to him & doesn’t care much for our new chapter in life either. So both of us have been doing this without help so far but we are struggling hard. I feel very alone in this pregnancy regardless if I am physically not mentally I feel that way. I am a first time mom & I honestly don’t know where else to go or who to go to.

I am a high risk pregnancy because I have a corrected congenital heart defect & I am limiting my hand me downs given to me because of my concern for mine & my daughters health. I didn’t ask much from anyone EVER. I would rather do it myself because I’ve always been the bread maker. Independence was a big thing for me. Now I am so desperate & in need of help because I only have a little over 3 months left before my daughter comes & I barely have anything for her. I have the bare minimum with clothes... let alone I havent even been able to start buying diapers or wipes because we haven’t had the money to. I receive aid for food and medical insurance but that only does so much. I honestly just don’t know what else to do; am I a bad parent because I cannot provide for my unborn child? Does this feeling pass? I hate asking for help but this is a situation I have never been in before & would rather ask for help even if it’s from complete strangers. I don’t want to feel like I’m doing a bad job at being a mom before I can even meet my daughter.