Eating disorders***TRIGGER WARNING*****trigger warning

I was healthy and fit up until 6 years ago. I overate constantly till I was 70 pounds over weight. I have lost 30 pounds of it. I got down to 140 and was feeling very confident. And then I started over eating again. Thinking, oh I’ll restart tomorrow. Restart tomorrow. I am now up 10 pounds. I over ate terribly yesterday 4 slices of pizza. 10 breadsticks and 12 mini Hershey bars. I was so sick I desperately thought I was going to puke but didn’t. I over ate again tonight.. ate 1 large Oreo blizzard, McDouble and 4 bowls of cereal. I truly was so sick feeling I made myself go vomit.. I had to. I could hardly get up enough to care for my 1 year old. It made me feel good...like really good. How I felt before I ate all that food. My entire life I’ve never made myself vomit ever until tonight and it made me feel good.