Baby mother and custody... 🙄

My fiance's daughter lives hours away and her mother refuses to let him see her. Hes begged and begged and has gotten to see her twice. Both times we had a car load of presents for his daughter and her brothers (not his children). Most of the time when we tell her that we have stuff for his daughter she won't talk to us or just send us more things she wants us to buy. She even goes as far as asking us to buy her phones and other things. We've obviously told her no because it's not our place to buy things like that for her. Shes a grown woman. We're here to support his daughter, and have offered to help if her other 2 kids need anything. All she ever wants is money (she's a drug addict). Shes had cps called on her multiple times and failed drug tests, even while pregnant, but cps says their job isn't to take children away from their mother it's to help them stay with the mother. She lives in a house with 5 other adults, (2 others are drug addicts and 2 are alcoholics, the other refuses to do anything for anyone), only one person in the home has a job, and none of them clean or anything, and they 6 or 7 children there. It's a 2 bedroom house, full of junk. Cps has seriously failed these children and we honestly don't know what to do or were to start with custody stuff.

Do we file in the state we live in or the state the child lives in? Which state do we get a lawyer in?

Any advice would be great. Thanks ladies, sorry it's so long.

Edit to add: we have talked to the only family lawyer I know of near us and once I told his receptionist that his daughter is in another state, she said the lawyer wouldn't help us. She didn't seem to know much about it and was absolutely no help.