How do I leave him peacefully?

This is not my first time going through something like this. The difference is the red flags came much much later than the first like after we already had a baby. There was no violence or hardly any fights until a couple months after my second was born.

He knew I was on maternity leave and was going to be for quite a bit after a csection. And he like refused to work he was calling off all the time and only working like 2 days a week because he hated his job. So when I tell him to get a second job then because we live 100% on our own it causes a huge fight about how he is not going to exhaust himself working 7 days a week just to pay bills and have nothing for himself it’s not worth working. He said there’s no motivation there to get up to work. So that night I brought it up he choked me against a wall and told me if I make him feel like less of a man by not paying all the bills again I’ll get what’s coming (he had been drinking)

Fast forward to a few months later after I kick him out and he’s totally apologetic and I let him back because I needed help with the kids I thought I was struggling alone. It now happens again and he threw me into my daughters room because I was mentioning he doesn’t help with the baby enough when I need help and he tells me I’m calling him a bad dad which isnt what I was saying he just wasn’t helping. He leaves right away so I never call the cops.

Fast forward to now. Last night (and all day yesterday) I really really needed his help I mean our baby is teething and going through a growth spurt and she is one fussy baby. It was his friends birthday so after working his graveyard shift he slept til 4pm then left at 5 and around 8:30 I call him telling him I really need his help she won’t go to sleep and is screaming and my 4 year old was also not in a great mood all day. It’s a lot to handle alone especially when you have a partner that should help. So he starts telling me on the phone while with his friend that he never calls me when he needs help I need to stop ruining his plans “claiming” the kids are fussy.

He comes homes and starts going off about how I wasn’t meant to be a mom because I can’t handle them all day alone even on their bad days but my point is I shouldn’t be alone you’re supposed to be my partner to help me but he complains when I need help.

So one thing turns to another and he starts wrestling with me in the kitchen telling me to shut my mouth and after I said I’m calling the cops he took my phone so I went to run outside to find someone to help and he gets in front of me and throws me into our coffee table and breaks it in half and now my ankle is swollen and I have 4 bruises and he says if I call the cops it’ll be me that gets punished. I’ve called them before and this 6’5 man 250lbs literally claimed self defense by me (135 lbs 5’4) because I slapped him and he had to hit me back. But I never slapped him I’m a pacifist and he knows that but cops don’t know that so they let him go with no proof but “hearsay”. Bruises don’t typically show dark until the next morning I just had red marks that my SO said “I caused on myself to frame him”

I don’t have law enforcement to turn to. My family never wanted me to bring him back so they don’t want to hear about it. His sister told me its my fault for provoking him knowing he has anger issues so I’m the one that needs to stop nagging or expecting so much. I dont have money for a lawyer and he says I’ll never get full custody but I don’t want the kids with him alone I want them where I know they’re safe so I stay just in case he’s right but this isn’t good for them either. What do I do? I need too leave and even police don’t do anything that I really need them to I feel hopeless 😔