Guys.. I could have absolutely sworn I was pregnant this time.. but again a negative. I have lost my hope..

I have pcos and extremely irregular periods. I have had 2 miscarriages and all I have ever wanted to be even when I was literally only 7/8 years old and was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was always a mother. I raised my siblings, mom was an addict and my dad was always working to keep an roof over our heads. My hubby and I want our miracle so bad every negative breaks us down further and further. I dont know what to do. It hurts. I keep praying and feel like I am being punished. Or like God just doesnt hear me. I need a miracle :'(