pcos can be cruel

as im sitting on the toilet seat right now, tears are coming down my face. i thought there could be a slight chance that i could of been pregnant. ttc with pcos is really cruel and heart breaking. i told myself i would be ok if it came back negative, to be strong, to try again but i don't think i can try again. i don't know when im supposed to get my period because i have irregular periods and on may 7 a month ago from today, i got my last period. im still waiting for my period with feeling mild cramping but till then, im just done testing. im tired of taking my meds and just tired