I’ve been having issues with my mother and law and I need somewhere to vent/get advice.

I’ve had trouble getting along with her for a few years now. Even more so since I got pregnant and had my son. She drives me absolutely nuts and I’ve noticed some toxic behavior from her that I just cannot deal with.

The main issue started when I gave birth. The day after he was born, she showed up at the hospital with a cough. She claimed that she had choked on a carrot on the drive over and it was still stuck in her throat. She kept leaving the room to cough in the hallway and it sounded really phlegmy. I was instantly suspicious and I think she could tell that I was because she ended up leaving shortly after. My husband wasn’t in the room for this as he had gone home to set up the car seat in the car because we didn’t have time before I went into labor.

Anyway, she informed my husband a couple days later that she actually had pneumonia. I was livid. Two weeks went by and she asked to see our son again. My husband told her no. She flipped out. Said it had been two weeks since she had gotten over the pneumonia (which I hadn’t, it had only been two weeks since she told him she had it) and guilt tripped my husband. Said really mean stuff. I texted her and calmly, but firmly ripped her a new one. I told her she had no right to make my husband feel guilty for trying to protect our son and that she needed to chill because if something ever happened to our son and we could have prevented it, I would never forgive myself. She tried to make me feel guilty then as well and I wasn’t having it and stopped messaging her.

A week later, we went over there to see her. I was still mad, but wanted to be civil. Then the next weekend she saw him again. After that, the covid-19 stuff started to get really serious and we haven’t let anyone, even my family, see him since. My sister and nieces haven’t even met our son because they live in another state and the coronavirus happened so soon after I gave birth. My family is super understanding. Some are immunocompromised so they are just as cautious as I am. None of them have tried to make us feel bad for this.

The past two weeks or so, my mother-in-law has been asking to see our son again. My husband has told her no every time. She hasn’t tried to make him feel guilty about it but she makes passive aggressive posts and comments on Facebook about it. I just ignore it. Last week though, she made a post about how she got to see my husband’s cousin’s kids. She literally said, “The coronavirus is over.... blah blah blah.” Which it isn’t. She works in a daycare as well so she’s being exposed to kids who’s parents are more than likely essential workers and are being exposed to it as well.

A little bit ago, she texted me asking if she could have grandma time on her birthday, which is next Sunday. I have no idea how to respond. I let my husband know but he hasn’t texted me back because he is at work. I obviously want to tell her no because I still am not comfortable with it. The pandemic is still a thing and she just doesn’t get it or get how serious it can be. I just read an article yesterday about a little girl who died from a seizure caused by covid-19. I just know that if we tell her no again, another shit show is going to happen and I’m just over it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Obviously I miss family and they’ve already missed out on almost 4 months of my son’s life but his health matters more to me than that.

Sorry this is so long, I tried to condense it lol