Okay I’m gonna rephrase all of this because you all just chewed my ass out.

Moral of the story is my ex bf and I had a weird ass toxic relationship. He was weird about his friends knowing, weird about going out, the whole thing.

So when we broke up he got in another relationship and was normal. They did normal shit, went out, you get the idea

so now we’re talking again and I want to address some shit before I get too invested in it again and I get fucked over for the THIRD TIME

I WAS NOT SAYING I WAS UPSET BECAUSE HE WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP. Im upset because I know he can be NORMAL with someone else and isnt normal with me.

So I wanna talk to him about all of it (not the relationship portion of it) but the fact that if we’re gonna try again I want normalcy. I don’t think that’s too much to ask

So I don’t know how to talk to him about it, because I get upset when I try to talk about my feelings in general and I can’t form my words properly and he already makes me nervous. I know what I want to say just don’t know how to say it

on another note: I’m aware this is unhealthy, im aware I should probably stay away from him, but unfortunately the relationship genie was out of fucking wishes when I asked for a normal one