Idk I guess this is just more of a rant..

My bf and I don’t have sex because I’m still a virgin and I want to stay that way for a bit. He’s very respectful but we still do other things.

I am so goddamn tired of never having my needs met. I never orgasmed with him. Every time we make out it always ends with HIM coming. So of course I’m still all horny and shit because I didn’t get squat out of the make out session. It’s all for him. I’m always going down on him and jerking him off til he comes. Which don’t get me wrong, I LOVE doing it. I’m very much a giver when it comes to this. But wow never getting anything out of it sure takes a toll.

Like I’m sick of feeling invisible. I know that’s dramatic to say but I am just so hurt right now. He knows I never come, I’ve told him so many times before that I never do but I want to, and he always says so generically “I want to make you come” but never actually gives a shit when the time comes.

He says he wants me to come but when things start getting frisky it’s all about him. He comes, kisses me, and falls asleep.

And it’s only ever at night too. In bed. So this morning I start getting all feely, try playing with his dick, but he just sleepily ignores it and gets up to start his day. Must be nice being able to orgasm and not have to worry about the other person. And to be able to go on with your day satisfied because you fucking come every night, so fuck me I guess.

Edit:

Yes I have talked to him about this before (see above) and I just talked about it with him 5 minutes ago. I said I’m frustrated that i never orgasm and you always do and don’t make it a priority for me too. He said “well you CAN orgasm” and I said “no...I can’t. Not with everything we’ve tried.”

And he goes “you can if we had sex” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Boy just because sex would definitely feel good for you does NOT mean I would work for me!! So I was like “I can’t even make myself fucking orgasm and it hurts every time just a single finger is up my vag so what makes tou think I’d actually orgasm with a dick in me”?? Like Lmaao so many ladies can’t orgasm from sex. I’d definitely be one of them if I can’t even orgasm from clit stimulation!! Like what makes you think I’ll Come from sex??

I’m just frustrated. I don’t even remember the last time we even just made out. Itslike he’s only interested if he needs his fix. He gets his fix, he’s good for a while until he needs it again. Whereas I NEVER get my fucking fix.

And yeah right now I’m at that point where I’m thinking fuck it, I won’t make him come anymore then. But the reason I always do, like I said is because I’m a giver when we’re getting it on. Like in the moment I just want to please him, I’m all into it, but I never ever ever feel good from it. Itsfun getting him off and I love it, but then when it’s over and he’s asleep I’m like oh...I’m still horny now. And he doesn’t care.

Like in the heat of the moment I love what we do. I love being against him, I feel sexy and turned on, so I go for it. But it’s afterwards when he’s asleep, or when I wake up in the morning and try and deal with my horniness by touching him, trying to turn him on and get frisky, only to have him ignore it and then get up and happily start his day because of course he’s fucking satisfied and isn’t at all affected by my suggestive actions....THAT is when the frustration and hurt sets in. UGH.