I’m 18. Graduated early in December and went to college for the next semester. Had a literal semester from hell. Decided I no longer want to go to college, at least now now and not for nursing. Now I’m here, working from 8:30 to 5 at a law firm where I’ve worked since my junior year, and I absolutely hate it. I hate the work I do. I hate sitting at a desk for hours straight staring in a computer screen all day. I’m late to work everyday. No matter how hard I try I can’t wake up early. I miss my alarms and sleep in, then rush to work a feel like a fucking joke. I’m moving up positions and learning a lot of new things. I always feel like I’m fucking up and causing more work for others rather than helping them when they have to help me fix my mistakes. I opened up my Etsy shop doing tumblers and decals and shirts, which I absolutely loved doing, but that’s all I think about is how to market and advertise and get sales. I’ve only had two the past two weeks and am struggling on my social media with followers. All I do is go to work, do cups, advertise my business, make more products to post, then go to bed. I love running my Etsy shop and creating tumblers and shirts and everything, but I always just feel like I’m running in place. I’m on the go non stop all day until I go to sleep, and yet I feel like I’m not closer to anything. I’m not closer to getting a house, my savings jar is still the same, I’m still late to work, I’m still fucking things up at work, I’m still not getting any likes, followers, or sales for my business, I’m not making enough products to sell. All while I’m doing this and going through this my 20 year old step sister is living her best summer funded by my step mom. I feel like if I don’t go to college I’m not going to make it. My dad will be right and I’ll be the lazy person he always thought I was, but if I do go to college I will spend another year unhappy, depressed, and undecided