So this happened when I was about 11/12 and I’m 19 now, since my parents found out and it went through to the police I’ve never spoken about it, because I’ve been embarrassed and that I don’t think I can overly class myself as someone who’s been fully abused because it never went that far.

When I first got a phone all the rave was apps like kik, bbm and snapchat cause it was pretty new, and I ended up being targeted and groomed into a big pedophile ring. I’ve done stuff I’m ashamed of, and so much stuff happened. They proper got into my head, I mean I was still pretty young at the time. And it happened over a course of a year before anyone found out about it.

I’ve never ever openly spoke about anything that’s happened because I felt like it wasn’t that relevant because I wasn’t raped or anything like that. But I feel like I’ve never emotionally or mentally got over it, it plays on my mind so much and I feel like it affects the way I am with guys, I just can’t seem to form healthy relationships. And I feel like it’s because of me.

I’m fine one minute and then next I get somewhat anxious and a lil depressed when something triggers it. But I don’t talk about it with anyone, no one but my parents and the people THEY have told know. I just feel like I can’t talk about it to anyone because I feel like I don’t belong in a category for it because of how it played out, as it wasn’t in person so I feel like it’s just not relevant and I’d be told to just get over it because nothing bad really happened to me, it was all online, all verbal, pictures or videos.

Just read some stuff tonight that’s kinda triggered it off a bit and I felt like I needed to have a little vent to get it off my chest, to people who don’t know me and I don’t know them. Just feel like it’s affecting me way more than it should.