I just indulged myself in looking up some instagram profiles of girls I went to school with and I can confirm I cannot compete or go anywhere near them because they're so beautiful and have amazing figures. I had lost weight last year and the year before because I was heart broken and working full time so the weight somehow melted off me. Now I'm out of a job and doing nothing with my life and I've gained all that weight I've lost so I'm back to looking like a big fat ugly disgusting whale. I have pcos and borderline thyroid problems so it's really hard to lose a pound but idk I manage to drop like two sizes when I was depressed and working lots. But now I'm right back where I started. I feel like such a failure. I look back on old photos from last year and I was starting to look pretty and I finally started to feel like I was fitting in. I had purpose cause I had a job I enjoyed that kept me active. But I've been going on 8/9 mile walks and I'm still fat and all my clothes are still tight on me. It broke my heart going into a clothing shop and getting XL again after buying S/M. I'm quite literally a huge disappointment. All these girls are doing amazing with their careers and have secure relationships and living in their own place. I'm 23,cant drive because covid prevented me from doing my test, I still live at home, I'm back to being the fat ugly awful person I was before and I'm unemployed as well as being a virgin who can't keep a man interested in me. Or they pretend to be interested on tinder but never wanna meet me. I'm fed up of being such a colossal disappointment. I really don't wanna do this anymore 😔