Need advice/given scary diagnosis.

What should I do?

My baby and I were recently in a car accident. We are both okay but when I had an MRI done they found a large AVM in my brain. An AVM is like a large clot of blood vessels that can rupture/bleed at anytime. Unfortunately, mine is grade 3 which means that surgery is extremely risky and will most likely paralyze me/loose the ability to speak. I just underwent radiation treatment to try and shrink it to make surgery safer but this can take 3-5 years to work and even then it's a maybe. My baby is 7 months old and my boyfriend and I want at least one more. We were hoping to have them between 2-3 years apart but obviously my AVM complicates things. Some DRs say that pregnancy can put me at higher risk of bleeding/rupture but some say if I have a c-section it should be fine since I was already able to get through labor with my baby now with only minor complications. There is not much research on the matter since AVMs are extremely rare and vary in size and location. I have always wanted at least two kids. My last radiation treatment is in November right after my baby turns 1. My boyfriend and I were thinking of trying again in Dec because I'll most likely need brain surgery in 2-3 years. I just don't know what to do. Is it selfish of me to put my family further at risk to have another one? My thoughts are I have no control over the situation. Even now my AVM is at risk of bleeding and if that happens my Dr said I pretty much die. I feel I can't just stop my life. There must be a reason it was found right!? Idk what are your guys thoughts? Thank you😩