What do you think about the Myka Stauffer situation?

Question

So basically this woman and her husband had a family monetized family blog on YT. They documented their process of adopting a child from China. Apparently, they knew the child was special needs but proceeded anyways. But now claim they did not understand the extent of his needs. People are upset because they made money off of the process, featured him in sponsored ads, and even had a fundraiser for his adoption, and are now adopting him out to another family because they feel they are not equipped to meet his needs. They haven’t gone into detail because they want to protect his privacy, but say there were times they feared for their own children.

What is your opinion on adoptive parents giving said child up for adoption to another family?

Does it make a difference that they made money off of this process?

What is your opinion on adoptive parents giving said child up for adoption to another family? 
Does it make a difference that they made money off of this process?

Accepted Answer

Some people are not mentally able to care for a child with extreme special needs. She admitted they didn’t know the extent of it and weren’t equipped for it. They did the right thing for him. He would have not gotten the help he needed and deserved if they had kept him. I think it is more common than people realize. When I was a teacher a lot of special needs students had adoptive parents or were being raised by other family members.

Answer

This has been posted many times and my opinion still has not been swayed. 
They are low, low, YouTube bloggers who monetized off of an adoption. There’s so many layers to this story. I am thankful the little boy is now in a home that genuinely loves him and won’t use him for clout. 
He was treated poorly by this family. The father was vocal that he was not for adopting a child with special needs. It was apparent he did not love the boy. It just disgusts me. The trauma Huxley has faced at the hands of these people is inexcusable.

Answer

I’m just gonna take a moment to educate anyone who might not know this. 
Please use person-centered speech! 
For example, in this post it says something along the lines of “they knew the child was special needs”. Instead of “was special needs” it should say “has special needs”. When we define a child by their disability we take away their identity. 
Instead of “autistic child” try “child with autism” 
Instead of “special needs kid” try “kid with special needs” 
You always put the child/person before the disability. They are not their disability. They simply have their disability. 
Just a friendly PSA from a devoted special educator who loves her kiddos more than anything 💕

Answer

I think his special needs aside, they never intended on treating him like one of their children. They made several mistakes that were not even relevant to his special needs. I am glad that they chose to place him with another family. I hope he gets the care he deserves there. I wish people would include her husband in this a little more. They both did it.

Answer

I’m so sick of hearing about this lady. The more you talk about her the more she profits off it. Good or bad. It’s a shitty thing she’s done. But for the sake of that baby, everyone should stop giving her the lime light because that’s literally what she wants and does for a living?

Answer

Acceptable.
I shared this on another post, but I heard an in-depth interview with a mom who adopted a child who ended up being violent and beyond her and her husband’s capability to parent.  The family went through every imaginable resource available and it just wasn’t working.  Other children’s lives in her home were becoming threatened.  She was incredibly heartbroken, felt like an entire failure of a human being.  She ended up finding a couple who had adopted children similar to this child their whole lives.  They were experts, adopted this child and he is now thriving.  The will, love and intent to be everything a child needs doesn’t necessarily mean you can be.  Sometimes doing the right thing means setting your ego aside.  
Now I don’t know the details on this case being youtube famous...but everyone watching this YouTube thing is part of the conditions needed to even make these people famous.

Answer

I looked into it when I first heard about it. I think it’s sad all the way around. While I don’t agree with “YouTube families”, I do think that this is just a horrible situation for all involved. There have been suggestions that he may have been acting out/dangerous towards their other children. I try not to judge... I couldn’t ever imagine having to try to make a decision or figure out what to do in that situation.

Answer

I don’t think anyone can judge based of the public persona. We can never truely know what is going on behind close doors, because vlogs can be edited to make life seem perfect. 
It is such a tough situation because when you read stories of babies being abandoned on door steps, or shaken baby syndrome everyone asks why didn’t the parent seek help, access respite or put the child up for adoption. Yet this family admit they aren’t coping and find a way to make sure their child is safe and cared for they get backlash too. 
I just hope everyone involved is able to access the supports they need.

Answer

She’s terrible, but ultimately I’m glad the child is no longer in that family’s care. 
I’d like to see these types of YouTube shows involving children be better regulated.

Answer

They’re terrible and greedy, but I’m glad the boy is with a family who will love him and get him the proper care he needs.

What do you think about the Myka Stauffer situation?

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