baby 4m & wanting another one

I feel like im crazy. This is my second baby. I feel like this is really my first baby.

My first we had lots of complications with pregnancy and ofter being born. We just found out my first baby is on the spectrum....

omg the difference in the kids are so completely different. My second baby is SO calm. Its like I don’t know what to do with myself. Our first has always been VERY high maintenance. I always had to hold him or he would get so mad to the point his lips would turn blue.

I feel like something is wrong with me because im enjoying this second baby so much to the point of already wanting to have another. I feel so guilty because I didn’t feel this way with my first. Is this normal? Should I see someone about it.