I’m so tired of being alive. Everyone in my life would be better off if I wasn’t here. I mean, I’m sure they’d be sad but overall it’s not a big deal. They would survive. I would kill myself in a heartbeat if I wasn’t even more scared of what happens after you die. I feel like no matter what I do I’ll end up miserable. I want to slam my head into the side of my counter and hopefully they’ll think I fell. I cut myself trying to work up the courage to kill myself but I just can’t. I thought about laying in the middle of the road but I don’t want someone to have to live with the guilt of running me over because I’m a coward. I feel like I’m only alive because I’m scared and I have to take care of other people. I barely do anything for myself. My husband says he wishes he would’ve called off our wedding. Our families don’t believe divorce is right. We’ve only been married a year. I’m so glad I had a miscarriage because a child doesn’t deserve me as a mother. I’m nothing. I hate myself. I hate this. I hate that I’m sad. Overall, I have a good life. I’m well taken care of. I just can’t do anything for myself. If I believe something different than my family they call me names. They say I’m uneducated. Gullible. All because I care about other people. I just wish this wasn’t my life. I wish I had no life. But I don’t. I’m so scared of hell and being dead. I want to be a good person. But my depression makes it hard. I need help but I don’t know where to go. I hate this. I can’t do it anymore. I have nobody. Please somebody help me.