I have always wanted to be a young mother, I lost my first and only baby at the age of 17. Since then I just wanted a good serious relationship, ideally to date for a year or two and then get engaged then start planning on our first child. In my family it’s very common to be a young mother in fact it’s normal and practically expected to have your first child by 17/18 yrs old. I did have a serious relationship of 4 years from age 19-23yrs old. According to my family by now I should be on my 2nd child or third. My then boyfriend and I had planned that by 22 we would start trying. It didn’t happen like that as we had some serious family matters going on at the moment to really focus on having a child. So we agreed to postpone for a year. We then moved across country from AZ to VA.

Being there things really changed and we no longer had the same visions for our future together, I was there for about 5 months and we then decided to call it quites and I moved back to AZ.

Coming back to AZ was difficult as though the break up was mutual I still had unresolved feelings. So the plan now back in Arizona was to find a rebound and get over my ex. Doing this I decided to try online dating since now a days online dating is really just flings and hookups lol. On one of these dating apps I found a guy who for anonymity reasons we will call Aaron (obviously not his real name). Aaron was nice right off the back and could really hold a conversation which was rare for me to find in guys now a days. I could see that he was genuinely interested, because of that i had to let him down easy. I knew i was just looking for a rebound and I didn’t want to lead a good guy on and then ghost him. Therefore I was open and honest with Aaron and I let him know of my current situation. He was nice and understanding, he was grateful that I was honest with him and we decided to stay in contact and became friends. He has ultimately become my best friend. We hang out often and he knows everything there is to know about me, in full detail even. Being awkward is our normal, we can talk about everything and anything, he knows of all my flings or hook ups and vice versa.

Because he knows everything of me, he knows that my family is always asking about me having kids and how I also wanted to be a young mother. So one night I jokingly asked him if he would be willing to be a sperm donor. At first he seemed shocked and then he calmly said that “he’s down”. I asked him multiple times throughout our conversations just to be sure, each time confirming that he was all for it. Which I am grateful for and I truly believe that having a baby with my best friend will be great and special. Since we both understand each other and agree on practically everything from political views to religious beliefs. I am very happy and excited but also scared. Could this be than just a friendship? Could the friendship just be our safe haven, I fears of showing our true feelings and thinking that the other won’t feel the same, or am I reading too much into this?