I feel so depressed, anxious and clueless!

My relationship is complex to say the least! We have been together for many years and have overcome some very trying times. We've been through quite a lot! Good, bad, terrible, amazing times. The love is there, we both still love each other immensely and we both say we are family to each other. We have a type of bond that is strong! But this past year has been a roller-coaster. My dad died last July from a short battle with cancer which hit me hard, at the time my relationship was also going through a bad patch. We did split for about 2 weeks and I ended up on meds for depression and anxiety, there just seems to be a distance between us and I can't quite understand what it is. I think it's just all bad shit we've been through during the relationship has built up maybe I dunno. But I can't think straight some days, I was fine yesterday but today I feel unloved, unwanted. Im pretty sure it's my depression and anxiety flaring up and I know tomorrow could be a better day. I just miss the affection we used to have. We used to cuddle up and watch movies and now we don't. I miss us!! I know people will say I need to talk to him, believe me I'd love to get everything out but he is so closed to emotion its unreal. I can never get serious conversations like this out of him so I don't always know where I stand. At the moment I'm just going through everyday doing the same thing. Cleaning (I'm a sahm) cooking, looking after the kids, laundry etc. Then when he gets home from work we'll eat, spend time with the kids together and when they go to bed we'll probably spend about an hour together but that hour will be sat separately in the same room on our phones with a little light conversation now and then. I dunno, I just don't know if I'm even wanted 🙄