Career or kids?

Question

I am 20. I am currently unemployed. My boyfriend is a little bit older then me and has a great career. I want to get married and he has already gotten a ring but has not proposed yet. It is in our future though. He always expresses that he loves that I stay home and cook and clean and all of that. he thinks it is more valuable to do that then have a job. Which I am happy to be a “housewife” I love taking care of him. Although... we have been thinking about a career for me in the next few years. I am all for it and excited to move towards that. But I really want kids. I want to be a mother (I always have) and I know that makes everything more complicated. We haven’t really talked about it too much, more of a one day sort of thing. So I need to decide if having a kid now (before the career) is a better choice then after I start working again. Would that be fair to my job to have a kid shortly after I start working and would it be fair to my future kid to start a career after I get the child to school age. I am at a crossroads and I know I need to talk to my boyfriend about this but I want to know what I want a bit more before I talk to him. Please let me know from your experiences what you think I just want to make the right decisions for my life and my boyfriends life and not be stupid. Thank you god bless

Answer

Career then kids. You’re 20. Give yourself the gift of time to get to know yourself as an adult.
Your brain continues to develop through your mid-20s. Do not take responsibility for growing someone else’s brain before you’ve finished growing your own.

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Career first. Need $$ to take care of kids!

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You should have some type of part time job. That way you do not become dependent on him.are you have your own money coming in and you can get stuff that you're going to need without having to ask him.

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Career first. 20 is really going to be thinking of kids, you can’t even drink a beer yet lol enjoy time with your future husband first before you bring in all of the extra stress. You will be happy you did

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Career!

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For me, having a career before kids is not a choice. We don’t make enough money to have one parent stay at home and provide the lifestyle we want for our kids  I really don’t think it’s unfair to children to have working parents. It sets an example to them that both genders can succeed and provide. It also opens their world up to different career paths. Plus, preschool is so so important for developing children.

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Career. I wanted kids first and my (now) husband wanted me to go to school for “just in case”. I went to nursing school, finished, we got married, I worked for almost a year and I just had our first baby a  couple weeks ago. I’m really glad I went to school and I will always have something to fall back on. I plan on going back to work once my baby gets older and working a PRN position. I like being able to make my own money and I’m thankful that I have a good education that makes decent money in case something ever happened to my husband or anything like that.

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Career then kids. Once your at a job a year, you can get a maternity leave. You can do both, he a mom and work. But even if you take time off to raise your kids, which some women do, it would be good to have something to fall back on if $$ gets tight.
Also, from someone who has fertility issue, things don’t always go according to planned. So I’d build up the savings and make a decision when there is actually a decision to be made

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Some type of job first! As for career that isn’t for everyone. I’m 32 and I’ve had soooo many amazing jobs and traveled in and out of the country a lot learning about other cultures and volunteering. I realized I’ll never have a “career” even though I have a teaching degree. And that’s ok! I don’t want one.  I got a job after coming back to the US and my job has amazing insurance and it’s at a grocery store! Our intentions were to get pregnant during this job so I had good insurance then I leave and stay home a year with the baby. I’m now 14 weeks Friday! 
In your case do what’s going to make you happy but get a decent job that works for both of you well before you try for kids. You are sooo young! I would do lots more before bringing a kid into the world but that’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Get a job first & make sure you’re full time before getting pregnant. I was 21 when I got pregnant and got a new job, I got pregnant 4 months after I started and luckily my job is absolutely great. I took a year off and my baby is 2.5 yrs now & I’m pregnant with second. I’m very grateful for my job & I may possibly be taking another year off otherwise 6 months if I get bored at home. I would suggest getting your own money, but to each their own.

Career or kids?

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