What would you do?

Hey ladies, so I'm really struggling.

My fiance and I have two children together. A two and a half year old who is special needs and a 6 month old. My fiance works 6pm to 6am and he comes home, goes to bed and gets up to shower and leave. So we really dont see much of him Monday through Saturday evening when he wakes up for the "day."

So overall I have been stressing and overwhelmed. I take care of our household, take care of our children, struggle to do therapy with our 2 and a half year old over facetime for an hour and a half Monday through Friday, while trying to tend to and care for our 6 month old. I make sure dinner is cooked and his lunchbox is packed before he leaves, and I also work a part time job 3 days a week. (Which at this point going to work is my down time) I've had mental health issues in the past, severe depression, PTSD and anxiety. My PTSD has been a struggle lately as I found out my rapist is dying of cancer and it has brought back a lot of negative memories and mixed emotions.

I have voiced my concerns to my fiance over and over. I've begged and pleaded for him to find another job with different hours so he could be present more. Even if it meant flipping burgers. (He has a background that keeps him from getting jobs, long story) he tries to find a new job but is never very successful. I acknowledge his effort in trying and I appreciate him trying to find something different. But I truly feel I'm getting too far deep into this depression hole and i need support. I've told him I have contemplated moving back in with my parents to have some extra help because it's really taking a toll on my mental health.

He told me I would be screwing him over and trying to guilt me into staying by bringing up the children and how he wont see them as much and how I would be tearing our family part and how would I feel when our son is walking around the house saying dada looking for him.

I feel so stuck in the middle. Do I just say fuck me and my mental health and stay here struggling. Or do I go to my parents and get support and work through my mental health so I can be the best mom I can be? 😪