Questions about sex

Background:

I’ve been thinking about dating and how I would like to approach sex. I would say I’m a chill Christian. I was born catholic, but I only attended church like twice a year. I don’t plan to date until after/during college. I’ve been questioning having sex before marriage or waiting until and using protection because I have had family members die of HIV.

Questions:

Do married couples still use protection?

I’m to scared to receive anything or spreading anything. I’ve seen women say once they hit menopause they stop, but my concern isn’t getting pregnant. It’s getting any STI or STD.

Side question: Would me wanting to have condoms all the time impact my marriage badly?

I’ll trust who ever I marry, but my body is something I would NEVER 100% trust somebody to not give an STI or STD.

Would giving handjobs or fingering someone (I ain’t straight but I ain’t a lesbian) count as losing my virginity?

I know other people want to have some type of pleasure, and I’m okay with that. I don’t think I’ll want to give my body over before marriage.

Does having protection during oral really hurt the receiver?

I’ve seen people commenting on YouTube and other sites that during BJs a man can get hurt if he has a condom. Is that true?