I’m not writing this post to get people sad for me or to get pity or play a victim I just need some advice and some encouragement. I am a Christian but I am really giving up on my faith because it feels like everything is going wrong on my life and I shouldn’t be here. I literally wake up go to work come home argue with my parents and sleep most of the time I’m depressed. Recently I just have the urge to give up on life and just end it. I am 21 and I just feel like my life is falling apart bc all me and my mom do is argue over my bf and she is kicking me out of my house and expects me to find somewhere to go in a week. She has literally taken everything away from me and keeps telling me that my life is going down hill and I will struggle for the rest of my life and she is just going to sit back and watch. She also has said that she wants nothing to do with me once I leave and I will not be able to contact any of my family members at all and if she finds out then she will call the cops and get a restraining order on me. Last night our argument escalated pretty quickly and she punched me in the face and that hurt the most out of everything. Why does God allow trials in people’s life? I feel like God could be talking to me and trying to get my attention but I am farther away from God then I have ever been before like I am at the point asking if there is even a God anymore. Yes I love my mom and I always will but I just feel like my life needs to end and I literally want to end it every day I wake up, whenever I tell my mom that she just says we’ll go ahead and do it if you are depressed. I wish I had a relationship with my parents but I don’t have one at all and my parents always help my siblings and cousins out and talk to them about anything and everything but when it comes to me it’s a argument. I have prayed about the situation but it just keeps getting worse I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.