I haven't really "had sex" but my boyfriend kept pushing it on my, trying to eat me out even when I said no and pushed his head away from me. This happened pretty often, he would ask for videos of me mastrubating and everything like that, but he also insisted that he loved me and would take it at my speed, after having a fight about me wanting one night without physical contact we talked it out. The next day was his birthday and he wanted me to read to him, so I did and he kept trying to kiss me and touch me, I gave in for a bit but then told him I was done. He backed off then he did it again and again and pulled out a condom, he had tried to actually be inside me many times but never really succeeded. I told him not really then he asked if I would rather use a vibrator again I said no. So he took the condom off and after that he kept whining and asking me why why couldn't he do this? I started to feel guilty, and in my head I actually thought, "well it is his birthday" so I told him he could have 30 seconds and I counted down. I don't think he got that far inside me because I didn't bleed. After the 30 seconds he didn't stop. I pushed his hips away. After a while he said " I feel like I might have pressured you" I told him he didn't and he didn't need to worry. When I told my bff she grabbed me plan b because he had taken the condom off before. And when I got home I broke down. He realized I wasn't answering and When I finally picked up he asked "honey do you think I raped you?" And still I said no and it wasn't all his fault, I gave him mixed signals and he agreed