Since I was 10 years old (now 17, almost 18) I've been fighting off some warts in my hands, feet, legs, knees, and now there are some on my arms as well. I don't even know how I got the virus, my parents dont have it or anything. In the last 3 years I've been diagnosed with genital warts. In march I started dating my first boyfriend. He knows about it and we've been safe, we haven't done anything where I couldve given him the std. When he was younger he had warts on his hands too but his are all long gone. He knows about it and said that he accepts me and would help me with treatment if it came down to it. Today is my second time having my left tonsil swell in 3 months, and my neck is swelling too. All signs point to oral hpv. I'm so fucking sick of this. I've never done anything, drugs, alcohol, I'm a virgin, a good student, I've got leadership positions in my extra curricular activities, my parents are proud of me. Now I'm put in the same category as the people who just dont care and spread STDs without telling others because if I have oral hpv then my boyfriend could have it from kissing. We've talked before and I assured him I didn't have it because there were no signs of it and no way I wouldve got it. Now I'm a liar and even more disgusting than before, im a sickly burden and he deserves better than me, how are we supposed to be intimate at all if I cant even fucking give him a kiss, I'm never going to get to experience a normal relationship because of this and I'm just so sad and feel so awful about myself. This has turned into a woe is me rant but I cant help it I'm sorry. How do I become okay with myself again