I choose to to do this post private just because I’m.. well I’m very embarrassed

I am going to ask before I go on to why, to have everyone who thinks their going to make the situation better by saying something rude to just scroll past this post, I just don’t have the strength to even read over anything negative.

I am 28 weeks today. My birth plan will 99% be labor & delivered by myself. Why? Well dad, he’s not the best man on this earth. I have a one year old by him & I don’t know what I didn’t get the first tome around. This pregnancy has been a blessing I just wish I could’ve experienced it with someone who cared about me, my daughters and our well being. He sucks, like legit sucks. No over exaggerating, he makes me feel so unsafe when he’s around especially when he’s angry & doesnt do shit for my girls. Doesn’t provide, doesn’t get up when she wakes up, doesn’t even watch her. Hasn’t ** shes 15 months. Since she has came on this earth he has never watched her. He told me that he can’t sit in the house with her for 8 hours while I work bc he’ll be bored. He also said that he doesn’t get up with her in the morning bc he’s tired, (he has no job, doesn’t want to get one) he said he goes to bed at 1 so he doesn’t deserve to wake up when she does, he deserves his sleep. Any how, I could go on and on, on the shit that makes him the worst person to have kids with. It would be a book length. So he’s out of people who would be my “support”. ( mind you he wasn’t there for my first labor either)

My other option would be my sister but, she will be watching my one year old. So I guess, it’s labor by myself unfortunately. I hate to say it, I hate knowing it’ll be this way and I’ll be way more embarrassed being in a hospital bed having contractions by myself. I have no support, no friends, no family who cares, I have nothing. I am at a lost stand point.

Has anyone labored alone? What was it like?

(Thanks for listening to my rant)