So my bf and I went on a cabin trip. He smokes weed and he got some edibles for me to try bc I’m too scared to smoke. He didn’t force me but he said it would be fun. I took it on my own, so i was not forced at all. He also had one too.

I ended up having a massive panic attack. I have bad anxiety and a phobia of throwing up, so I was shaking uncontrollably and felt like I was going to die. I also disassociated a lot more than normal and had hallucinations. I also was getting weird thoughts in my head saying i don’t deserve to live or even have a boyfriend. My dog was also very sick at the time so i got weird thoughts about that too. My bf was too high to help and I kept pushing him off me bc I was anxious so he got upset. God I’m thinking of how stupid this was. What if I had an even worse reaction? He was so high he couldn’t really do anything. This was so dumb on both our parts.

It’s been a few days, and I still have a really bad brain fog. I’m also in a medical program and need to be drug tested for that in a few weeks. Yea I know. I’m fucking stupid.

Anyways, my bf smokes a lot of weed and I guess I thought doing it would make me more entertaining. He said my reaction was the worst he’s ever seen. He changes so much when he smokes, I really wish he would stop. He is the sweetest boyfriend ever. Idk what I’m really asking. I just want some advice or if anyone has any experience with this.