Posted yesterday in another sub. I know it's kinda long, but I could really use advice.

Relationship backround: I'm 29. He's 32. We have been together 6 years. I have a 10 year old girl that he has raised as his own since we met. Her bio-dad is not in the picture. And we share a 4 year old boy.

We found out a few years ago that my SO is bipolar. Recently, he's gone through a med change that has really started to affect our relationship. He's paranoid, anxious and tired all the time.

More so recently he's been having an issue trusting me. One night I went out with a guy friend (2 hours away) who was going through a rough time. Just trying to be a good friend, as we had been friends since high school. My SO knows him, has met him plenty of times and had zero issues with us hanging out. We drank more than we should have that night, he hit on me, I drunkenly panicked and just got in my car and left. I called my SO and immediately told him what happend. He advised me to find the nearest hotel and get a room, which I did. I know I should have called an uber or something, so let's not harp on drinking and driving. I know I was wrong.

Since then, he keeps saying that something isn't right. That there's something I'm not telling him. He's been going through my call/text logs. Which normally I dont mind. Something doesn't feel right? Go through whatever you want until your heart is content. I have nothing to hide. But it's all the time now.

I'm getting so sick of trying to defend myself. The only thing I feel I did wrong was drink more than I should have that night. I have admitted that and apologized over and over again. If I'm wrong, please tell me. (Nicely, I'm fragile right now)

I know he's going through his own battles in his head. This isn't him. I tried giving him a month to adjust to his new medication. But nothing has changed. Everything I say is wrong. I love him so much. I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to do anymore. Please help.